Some things you just can't explain
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied up hers left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking again she knocked down the bucket with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.
As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me,
"Some things you just can't explain!"
A Wise Doctor
What an interesting way to put it!
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: 'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help!
My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again.
I don't want kids so close together.'
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you, too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.
If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
God Bless you All.
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're going to love this....)
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're going to love this....)
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'
Human Equation
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
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