Once A Professor asked his students, 'Why do we shout in anger?
Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
The students thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the Professor.
'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
The students gave some other answers but none satisfied the Professor.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot.
To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other.
The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the Professor asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love?
They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why?
Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The Professor continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love.
Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL:
When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more,
Else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
Success of marriage
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.
My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!".
Husband: "That's it. We are happy ever after."
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.
My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!".
Husband: "That's it. We are happy ever after."
The 99 Club
Good read - Sooo darn true!!!
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy.
The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?"
The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep." When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were
99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin?
Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! " He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and completehis collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club. " He continued, " The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves:
*"Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life."
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy.
The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?"
The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep." When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were
99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin?
Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! " He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and completehis collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club. " He continued, " The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves:
*"Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life."
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
Why football is played for 45 minutes?
Why football is played for 45 minutes in each half?
Those who thought of this must have lots of time.
Why people play football for 45 minutes, not 30 minutes or 1 hour?
Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer.
In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable and brilliant answer.
He said......."The reason people play this game for 45 minutes is...
There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team.
Each player brings his own "2 balls".
So in total there are 44 balls.
There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total is 45.
Question Answered !!!
Sometimes there is extra time of 2 mins which is the referee's balls!
LIGHTEN UP GUYS......
Some things you just can't explain
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied up hers left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking again she knocked down the bucket with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.
As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me,
"Some things you just can't explain!"
A Wise Doctor
What an interesting way to put it!
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: 'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help!
My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again.
I don't want kids so close together.'
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you, too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.
If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
God Bless you All.
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're going to love this....)
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're going to love this....)
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'
Human Equation
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Why some girls show only their faces ?
Why do some girls cut their pictures and leave only their faces?
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دو ہزار دس کی 'وش لسٹ'
Orignal Post
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/urdu/2010/01/post_569.html
سال دو ہزار دس میں کیا کیا بس ہونا چاہیے
۔۔1صدر زرادی آئندہ تمام تقاریر تحریری کریں گے۔
2۔ وزیر اعظم سید یوسف رضا گیلانی پردہ ڈالنا چھوڑ دیں گے۔
3۔ وزیر داخلہ رحمان ملک سچ اور صرف سچ کے سوا کچھ نہیں کہیں گے۔
4۔ تمام ریاستی ادارے اپنی اپنی حدود میں رہیں گے۔
5۔ وفاقی وزیر بجلی و پانی اپنی روپوشی ختم کرکے قوم کو لوڈشیڈنگ سے نجات کا درست وقت بتائیں گے۔
6۔ سینٹر رضا ربانی کو مزید کسی پارلیمانی کمیٹی کا سربراہ نہیں بنایا جائے گا۔
7۔ گورنر پنجاب اور صوبائی وزراء 'بندے دے پتر' کی زبان استعمال کرنا شروع کریں گے۔
8۔ بےنظیر بھٹو اور نواب بگٹی کے قاتل بےنقاب ہو جائیں گے۔
9۔ سوات طالبان کے رہنما مولانا فضل اللہ افغان شہریت حاصل کرلیں گے۔
10۔ شدت پسند روز روز کی فوجی کارروائیوں سے تنگ آکر جیکٹ فیکٹریاں بند کر دیں گے۔
11۔ اسامہ بن لادن اپنی ریٹائرمنٹ کا باضابطہ اعلان کریں گے۔
12۔ صدر جنرل پرویز مشرف کے لیکچر دوروں کو توسیع دی جائے گی۔
13۔ فنکارہ میرا اردو کو اپنی زبان مان لیں گی۔
اور ٹی وی چینلز پر صبح کے زنانہ اور رات کے مردانہ شوز میں کمی لائی جائے گی۔
اب دیکھنا ہے 'دس کا دم'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/urdu/2010/01/post_569.html
سال دو ہزار دس میں کیا کیا بس ہونا چاہیے
۔۔1صدر زرادی آئندہ تمام تقاریر تحریری کریں گے۔
2۔ وزیر اعظم سید یوسف رضا گیلانی پردہ ڈالنا چھوڑ دیں گے۔
3۔ وزیر داخلہ رحمان ملک سچ اور صرف سچ کے سوا کچھ نہیں کہیں گے۔
4۔ تمام ریاستی ادارے اپنی اپنی حدود میں رہیں گے۔
5۔ وفاقی وزیر بجلی و پانی اپنی روپوشی ختم کرکے قوم کو لوڈشیڈنگ سے نجات کا درست وقت بتائیں گے۔
6۔ سینٹر رضا ربانی کو مزید کسی پارلیمانی کمیٹی کا سربراہ نہیں بنایا جائے گا۔
7۔ گورنر پنجاب اور صوبائی وزراء 'بندے دے پتر' کی زبان استعمال کرنا شروع کریں گے۔
8۔ بےنظیر بھٹو اور نواب بگٹی کے قاتل بےنقاب ہو جائیں گے۔
9۔ سوات طالبان کے رہنما مولانا فضل اللہ افغان شہریت حاصل کرلیں گے۔
10۔ شدت پسند روز روز کی فوجی کارروائیوں سے تنگ آکر جیکٹ فیکٹریاں بند کر دیں گے۔
11۔ اسامہ بن لادن اپنی ریٹائرمنٹ کا باضابطہ اعلان کریں گے۔
12۔ صدر جنرل پرویز مشرف کے لیکچر دوروں کو توسیع دی جائے گی۔
13۔ فنکارہ میرا اردو کو اپنی زبان مان لیں گی۔
اور ٹی وی چینلز پر صبح کے زنانہ اور رات کے مردانہ شوز میں کمی لائی جائے گی۔
اب دیکھنا ہے 'دس کا دم'
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